Let’s be honest, some times it’s hard to feel sexually confident. It’s completely normal to have days when life has run all confidence down to a flat zero. So how can you be more sexually confident on good or even on those bad days? I am excited to share with you some of the ways I get back on top of my game. Here are my go-to things to increase your confidence in the bedroom.
1. Your Past Is In The Past
Listen to me clearly, your past is in the past. Say it out loud and say it as many times as you need too. Things we have done or done to us have made an impact, however those unforgettable moments do not define the person you see in the mirror. It may be time to forgive yourself and let it go.
2. Take A Shower – yep that simple
This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a good leg shave can suddenly make you feel more self-confident. There have been days when this turned my mood around completely, plus I like having a smooth body for my husband.
3. Exercise – for real
Cue the groans. I hear ya, I am just like you and it’s hard to fit exercise in my daily routine. There are three good things that come from exercise. One – you get to wear cute workout clothes, two – your body loves you for it and it shows, but the best part is all the extra energy and flexibility you will gain in the bedroom!!
4. Plan A Beauty Day
Get your hair done by a professional. Nothing feels better than a fresh cut and color. Say goodbye to those greys and hello to a younger-looking you. Don’t just buy the color box from Target – GO TO THE SALON. You deserve it.
5. Dress Sexy
Set the goal to wear sexy undies for a whole week. Dressing sexy for your husband is one thing, but dressing sexy for yourself is downright hot. Your underwear can give you a huge boost of confidence, improve your mood, and make you feel great throughout the day. Being bare naked during sex can be a touch intimidating, try leaving on a string of pearls, high heels or what I like to do is have my husband rip through a pair of fishnets like he’s too hot and bothered to pull them off so he rips through them. If showing off too much of your body is still hard to do go shopping and buy some new revealing lingerie that keeps you feeling comfortable.
6. Be The Boss
Take the reins and tie that boy up in bed. Studies have shown that taking initiative is one of the top things men crave in bed, so feel free to be a little bitchy in the bedroom. Use a soft, sensual voice and tell your guy exactly what you’re going to do to him, this is a great way to fire up his fantasies. When you are very specific about your demands, it can make your partner feel more desirable. Make it known that he is the only person who can satisfy your needs. He will be very worked up and that will help you feel in control.
7. Embrace What You Like About Yourself
Making peace with the physical traits you don’t like about yourself is worth every second you put into it, however it’s much easier to appreciate the traits you do like. When you look in the mirror, focus on what you like about your body. I speak from my heart. I don’t have much on top, but my ass is banging. It’s fun talking dirty to my husband about my ass and teasing him with it – I’m pretty sure he likes it just as much as I do!
8. Do What You Do Best In Bed – then do it again
No matter how insecure you are about your sexual skills, there’s probably at least one thing you’re really good at. Maybe you’re unsure about talking dirty to your husband, but you’re great at giving oral sex. Pleasure your partner with what you are best at doing in bed for a few weeks. It will grow your sexual confidence and at the same time, he’ll feel like it’s his birthday month! #Winning
9. Do Your Homework
The best way to get better at sex is to learn more about sex. Remember sex is good and it’s supposed to be fun. Look for adult sex education that teaches you skills in the areas you want to get better at. For example, you might want to learn more about touch, where to touch, how to touch, or how to ask for what you want from your sexual partner. Learning more is always a great way to build up your sexual confidence. I suggest you look up ways to have mind-blowing orgasms! It’s a good place to start.
10. Ask And Recieve
This goes two ways. You should be asking for what you want so you can have the best sex of your life. On the other hand, you need to ask your husband what he wants, too. Once my husband and I were able to communicate what we wanted from each other our sex life and confidence went through the roof – then the roof came off and we have been LOVING our sex life. Talking about sex turns him on and learning more about what he wants gives me the ability to confidently pleasure him.
11. Don’t Listen To The Lies
The thing that throws most of us off is listening to the lies. The media has one job to do and that is to sell a product. What sells a product – sex. The media is always selling sex to the world with a unrealistic view. If I could only photoshop my own body before I jump into bed tonight… oh wait I can’t. You might be the one telling yourself lies. Self talk is good, but you have to be kind to your body. Motherhood changes our shapes and life can be demanding. Love yourself by telling yourself you are loved just the way you are. Then start believing it.
Remember, sexual confidence is not about being “good” in bed. It’s not about having the perfect body or being amazing at sex. The best way to have sexual confidence is feeling comfortable in your body, knowing you deserve pleasure and being able to articulate what you enjoy, as well as listening to the needs of your sexual partner. Work together and over time you will find your sexual self-confidence that will be screaming for more.